Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 23 - 29, 2024
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ENVIRONMENT
Tyson Facing Lawsuit Over Labeling Its Beef “Climate-Smart”
And its chicken “Ecologically Astute.”
 
MEDIA
Trump Posts:
“I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!”

Angrily quits her fan club, throws away her wristbands, posters, records, CDs, considers cutting himself.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Report: Large Number of Americans
Say They're Prepared to
Flee if Trump Wins

To their vacation homes in Aspen.
 
EDUCATION
More Bulletproof Products Showing Up in Schools
“If we can sell more bulletproof backpacks than guns, we're winning,” says maker of bulletproof backpacks.
FEATURE
According to the latest data from YouGov, what percentage of Republicans believe Donald Trump's claim Haitian residents of Springfield, Ohio have been stealing and eating their neighbors' pets?
   A )  8%  
   B )  12%  
   C )  17%  
   D )  52%  
Hint: seeing it online is believing.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
  Oil Painting of Smucker's Uncrustable Sells for $5,000
“Another example of unbelievably high food prices,” says one Republican.

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