Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 6 - 12, 2024
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PEOPLE
Trump Won't Commit to Accepting 2024 Election Results
“Commitments are for suckers,” he explains.
 
MEDIA
Hush Money Case: “Access Hollywood” Tape Played in Court
One juror reprimanded for masturbating.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Taylor Swift Occupies Top
15 Spots on Billboard 100

First time since Stephen Foster in 1854.
 
BUSINESS
Google Battling DOJ in Search Engine Monopoly Case
Google's defense: Bing us.
One in Four Americans Fear
Losing Their Job This Year

To a smart speaker.
SCIENCE
Orangutan First Non-Human Observed Treating Wound With Medicinal Plant
Also, first non-human observed seeking a second opinion.
Remains Used to Produce Face of 75,000-Year-Old Neanderthal Woman
Same advanced restorative procedure used for years in Beverly Hills.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Sudden Surge in Sea Level Rise
Threatens Southern States

Or, as one climatologist wryly points out, “the seas shall rise again.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
DEA to Reclassify Marijuana
as Lower-Risk Drug

And stoners as slightly less annoying.

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