| PEOPLE |
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 McConnell Endorses Trump
To stop the death threats, he explains. |
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Hungary's Orban Visits Trump
at Mar-a-Lago
Recieves promised “meat loaf,
chocolate cake, and glimpse of
Melania by the pool.” |
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| MEDIA |
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Warning Issued: Russia
Responsible for Numerous
Fake News Sites
Including some of your favorites. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Record $12.5 Billion Lost to
Internet Scams Last Year
At same time, record $12.5 billion
earned by internet scammers. |
|
 Jeff Bezos
Briefly Moves Ahead of Elon Musk
Atop World's Richest Person List
By forty-three dollars. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Scientist: AI Could Surpass
Human Intelligence by 2027
Dolphins by 2030, octopuses by 2050. |
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DoD Developing Portable
UFO Detection Kits
Made of tinfoil, you wear it on your head. |
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 Researchers
Optimistic They Can Revive Woolly Mammoth
They've already started taking orders
for a stuffed toy, frozen mammoth burgers. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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FDA: LSD Now a Breakthrough
Therapy
Advises public to turn on, tune in, drop out. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Arctic May Have Ice-Free
Summers Soon
“Finally!” says head of Arctic
Summer Fun Tourist bureau. |
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