Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 15 - 21, 2019
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FASHION
  Paris Couture Week Features
New Looks for Fall

Offering many choices for your fall wardrobe.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: People More Likely to Return Wallet if There's Plenty of Cash In It
So keep an extra $100 bill in your wallet just in case you lose it.
 
EDUCATION
Study: Three Times as Many
Wealthy Kids Enrolled in
College Than Poor Kids

The rich kids support the poor kids by cheering them on at big games.
 
SPORTS
Florida Strip Club Cancels Golf Tournament at Trump Resort
Fortunately, a Palm Beach massage parlor steps in and will stage its tournament there.
FEATURE
President Trump says the U.S. has the cleanest air of any country. Where do we actually rank?
  A ) 1st
  B ) 3rd
  C ) 6th
  D ) 10th
Hint: hey, it could be much worse.
 
LAW
Billionaire Jeffrey Epstein Held Without Bail as Flight Risk
Prosecutors fear he'll flee to another planet.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
  Poker-Playing Algorithm Beats World's Top Human Players
But it still can't beat dogs.

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