 WHITE HOUSE TO REVEAL
DEATH TOLL FROM DRONE STRIKES FOR FIRST TIME
So Obama can include it on his resumé. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Sweeping Away Protestors,
Turkey Takes Over Largest
Newspaper
In an editorial, paper calls its takeover
completely justified. |
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Survey Shows Deep Division Between
Jews and Arabs in Israel
Confirming all other surveys taken since
the dawn of time. |
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ISIS Forcing Birth Control on
Captured Women They Use as Sex
Slaves
Drawing condemnation from Vatican. |
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| POLITICS |
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 Trump Says He'll Put Ben
Carson in Charge of Education
And name Chris Christie Surgeon General. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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More Killed in U.S. by Toddlers
Than by Terrorists
Prompts call to put toddlers on no-fly list. |
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Astronaut Scott Kelly to Retire
In April
Wants to spend more time with his planet. |
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| REMINDER |
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Crazier things have happened. |
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Mississippi Governor Proclaims
April “Confederate Heritage
Month”
Proclaims May “Buy One Slave – Get One Free Month.” |
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| PICTURE OF THE WEEK |
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 Trump Supporters
Pledge Their Allegiance to Him
And to the Master Race. |
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