 POWERBALL
JACKPOT SOARS PAST $1 BILLION
Jeb Bush shows off one of his 20,000 losing tickets. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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 China Destroys
Giant Mao Statue
Work begins on giant Xi statue. |
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More Doubts Raised About North
Korea's H-Bomb Claim
Also Kim's claim device “small enough
to fit in Dennis Rodman's suitcase.” |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Facebook's Virtual Reality
Headset Goes on Sale
Shown: four teens enjoying “A Shower With
Justin Bieber.” |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Obama Proposes Modest
Measures to Reduce Gun Violence
One allows authorities to take a firearm
from someone's cold, dead hand. |
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Maine Governor: Blacks Coming
Into State, Impregnating Our
Young White Women
And stealing our lobsters. |
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| REMINDER |
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Buckle up, and disable the airbags. |
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| POLITICS |
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 Trump TV Ad
About Mexicans Illegally Entering U.S. Actually
Filmed in Morocco
Campaign explains they're Mexicans illegally
entering Morocco. |
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Koch Brothers Surprised
They've Had Little Influence
on Presidential Race
Decide to move corporate headquarters to Dubai. |
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