| NEW PRODUCTS |
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 Toothbrush App Shows
Latest News, Weather While You Brush
Floss app brings you all the latest sports. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Rumor: Apple Developing Electric Car
Syncing it to your smartwatch, you'll
be able to drive your kids to school
without getting out of bed. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
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Ten States Considering Bills Allowing
Open Carry on College Campuses
Will base success on how many die
at first kegger. |
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| SPORTS |
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Spring Training Officially Begins
as Pitchers, Catchers Report
They'll be followed by infielders, outfielders,
utility players, minor leaguers, unsigned
free agents, and gamblers. |
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Baseball to Speed Up Play
This Year
But plan to call it “Baseball on
Steroids” has been shelved. |
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| PICTURE OF THE WEEK |
|
 Security
Camera Reveals More Problems for
Disneyland
First it was measles, now it's crabs. |
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| ART |
|
 Metropolitan Museum
of Art Bans Selfie Sticks
Removes all self-portraits. |
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| TRAVEL |
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Luxury Hotel Rooms Averaging $800
a Night Now at 70% Occupancy Rate
$200 hookers also doing well. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Hello Barbie Listens,
Speaks to Your Kids
Says things like, “I need more
accessories” and “I miss Ken.” |
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