OBAMA SEEKS TAX
HIKE ON WEALTHY TO PAY FOR CUT
TO MIDDLE CLASS
Or, as conservatives call it, grounds for impeachment. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Plummeting Price of Oil a
Catastrophe for Russia
President Putin forced to sell his Super Bowl ring. |
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2014 Hottest Year in History
Most people with air conditioning didn't notice. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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Boy Who Wrote
Best-Seller About Going to Heaven Admits It Was
All Made Up
Now he's working on a new book
about going to Hell. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Man Arrested for Wanting
To Blow Up Capitol
Got idea from House Republicans. |
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Supreme Court to Rule on
Same-Sex Marriage
Will decide if gays have same rights as corporations. |
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| REMINDER |
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It's an honor just to be snubbed. |
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Federal Report: Arts, Culture
Account for 4% of GDP
Includes artists, actors, other bums. |
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Study: Americans More Likely
To Die Being Shot by Their
Toddler Than in Terrorist Attack
Suggests placing all toddlers on “no fly” list. |
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| POLITICS |
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At Retreat, Republicans
Discuss Strategy
And crack racist jokes about Obama. |
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