| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 Company
Introduces App-Controlled Backpack
That Controls a Cockroach's Movements
Remotely
Cockroaches sold separately. |
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Hanukkah, Thanksgiving Fall
On Same Day for Last Time
In Nearly 80,000 Years
Providing extremely rare eight days of indigestion. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Global Report: Americans Lag in
Math, Vocabulary, Technology,
Overall Literacy
Although we weren't feeling well the day
of the test. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Baseball: Postseason Devoid of
Hitting, Scoring
And positive PED tests. |
|
Oneida Nation Calls on Washington
Redskins to Change Name
To Oneida Redskins. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Which organization pledged to
support Republicans in the House who vote to end
the government shutdown and raise the debt limit
on schedule against possible Tea Party challengers
in the 2014 primaries? |
| A ) | MoveOn. |
| B ) | Emily’s List. |
| C ) | Martians for a Responsible Solar System. |
| D ) | The U.S. Chamber of Commerce. |
| Hint: It’s not MoveOn or Emily’s List. |
|
|
|
| |
| RELIGION |
|
Scalia Says He Believes in the Devil
Consults him regularly. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 New $100 Bill
Has Many Security Features to Prevent
Counterfeiting
Ben's eyes watch your every move. |
|
|
