| PEOPLE |
 |
 FBI Digs Up
Detroit Field Looking for Jimmy Hoffa
Hoping three hundred times is the charm. |
|
|
New England Patriots Owner Says Putin
Stole His Super Bowl Ring
And his Twix bar. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Bernanke Hints, Vaguely, at Possibility
of the Chance That, Perhaps, Sometime Far Far in
the Future, Maybe, He'll Raise Rates
Markets plunge. |
|
American Airlines Squeezes 10 Extra
Seats into Coach to Make Room for Lie-
Flat Seats in Business Class
And a hot tub in first class. |
|
 After Initially Defying NHTSA
Request to Fix 2.7 Million Jeeps Subject to Catching
Fire in Rear-End Collisions, Chrysler
Agrees to Cheap Fix for 1.56 Million
And advises remaining 1.14 million jeep owners
not to stop suddenly. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Baby Chicks Smarter
Than Baby Humans
They consistently beat human babies at tic-tac-toe. |
|
Researchers: Those Who Receive
Mild Shock to Brain Find People
More Attractive Than Before
They Receive Shock
In tests conducted on cheerleaders, campus beauty
queens and other women who otherwise wouldn't
give researchers the time of day. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
American Medical Association Recognizes
Obesity as a Disease
You’re not fat, you’re just feeling a little
under the weather. |
| |
| LAW |
|
High Court Rules Suspects
Must Speak Up if They Wish
To Remain Silent
If they wish to speak, must do so silently. |
|
High Court: Drug Companies Can Be
Sued for Paying Competition Not to Sell
Generic Version of Its Brand Name Drug
Ask your lawyer if suing a drug company is right for you. |
|
