| |
 |
KING FAHD'S
HEALTH IMPROVES
Price of self-serve regular
drops three cents. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
 |
Economy Added Only 1 Job in
May
Experts expected two, but Bolton's
confirmation was held up. |
|
Pentagon Solves Recruiting
Problems
Stops issuing monthly reports. |
|
Former President Bush Says He'd
Like to See Jeb Run For President
But not Neil. |
| |
REMINDER
If you have to ask
what the price of
gas is, you can't afford it. |
|
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
|
French, Dutch Reject EU
Constitution
World War I declared. |
|
Saudi Arabia: Proposal to
Allow Women Drivers Denounced
Man who made suggestion beheaded, matter
quickly forgotten. |
|
 LETTER
FROM HELL
Dear Mortals,
I knew it was that weasel Felt!
Haig, that cocksucker, couldn't
keep a secret ten seconds. All
the other ones they mentioned are
down here with me, or didn't know
jack shit. |
| So, while this ex-mortal is
shoveling you-know-what for
you-know-who, Benedict Arnold
will be treated like a national
fucking hero. You can bet your
ass those clowns on "60
Minutes" will be drooling
all over him, too. Well, I've got
a little surprise planned for Mr.
Snitch. |
| With a few good words from my
buddies Haldeman and Ehrlichman,
I've been allowed five minutes on
Chuck Colson's shoulder. He'll
think he's getting a divine
message or something — the next
thing you know he's strapping
twenty pounds of explosives to
his belt and, well, I'll leave
the rest to your imagination. |
| Oops, gotta go. It's my day in
the Bottomless Pit. |
Sincerely,
Richard M. Nixon, 7th Level |
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