Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 3 - 9, 2020
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LAW
  Alan Dershowitz: If President
Believes His Reelection in the
Public Interest He Can Do
Anything He Wants to Get Reelected

For instance, he could poison his wife, or knife her to death, or even enslave underage girls for his personal sexual pleasure if it helps his chances.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: College Students Use
More Marijuana in Legalized
States, But Binge Drink Less

Need to stay sober when driving to sell their pot in non-legal states.
Average American Gives Up on
New Year's Resolutions by Feb. 1

Spends rest of year trying to get out of gym membership.
 
SPORTS
Study Debunks Myth Sex
Trafficking Surges During
Super Bowl

Review of game film from every Super Bowl finds nothing to support claim.
FEATURE
In 2017, an Oxfam study found that eight people, six of them Americans, own as much wealth as what percentage of the rest of humanity?
  A )    2%
  B )    3%
  C )    5%
  D )   50%
Hint: think of 3.9 billion paupers.
 
LIFESTYLE
UK: Head of National Health
Service Condemns Gwyneth
Paltrow's Wellness Products as
Waste of Money, Considerable
Health Risk

And then tears into her films.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
President Gets Quick Touch-Up Before Rally
And yes, that is his hair.

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