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Ironic Times

 NO. 1009 “Expect the Ironic” FEBRUARY 3 - 9, 2020 

Jan 27
Feb 10
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL PREDICTS
AN EARLY SPRING
Followed by melting of the polar ice cap.
 
WORLD NEWS
UK: Brexit Begins
Drawbridge raised, moat filled.
Study: Global Satisfaction With Democracy at All Time Low
Tyranny, anarchy, feudalism getting second looks.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Longest Border Tunnel Ever Discovered
It extends from just inside Mexico to the supermax prison in Colorado holding El Chapo.
U. S. NEWS
Republicans: Trump Phone Call “Inappropriate” But Not Impeachable
Like inappropriately assaulting dozens of women.
Portion of Trump's Border Wall Toppled by High Winds
White House dismisses it as “one hundred year” event.
Iowa Caucus: Klobuchar Rally
Draws Just Four People

Disappointing turnout blamed on holding event during Super Bowl.
 
REMINDER
  It's 100 seconds before midnight. Do you know where your children are?
 
POLL
Sanders Takes Lead, But
Bloomberg Gaining

Talk of Sanders-Bloomberg ticket spreads among schizophrenics.
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