Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 8 - 14, 2019
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ARCHEOLOGY
  Egypt Announces Discovery of
Tomb From Earliest Dynasty

Will be open to tourists “as soon as the paint is dry.”
 
TECHNOLOGY
Scientists Create 3D Printer That Can Print Living Human Organs
Print a kidney, spleen or liver while you shop at Walgreens.
China's Five Year Plan
Geared to Making it Leader
In Artificial Intelligence

Their robots will bury our robots.
 
LIFESTYLE
Survey: Average Person Has
4 Hours, 26 Minutes of Free
Time Per Week

4 hours, 25 minutes more than you.
MISCELLANEOUS
Celibacy in U.S. Reached
All-Time High in 2018

Increased after radio ban of “Baby, It's Cold Outside.”
Survey: Dog Owners Much
Happier Than Cat Owners

Both much happier than parents.
 
EDUCATION
University of Kansas Offering
Course Titled “Angry White
Male Studies”

Formerly called “History of Western Civilization.”
 
PHILANTHROPY
Sackler Family Invested in, Profited From Treatments for Opiod Addiction That They Caused
“All we ever wanted to do was endow museums — what's wrong with that?”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Ancient Teeth Hint at Mysterious Human Relative
Believed only species that could have itself as a pet.

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