Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 6 - 12, 2012
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MISCELLANEOUS
Cheetah Sets World Record for Fastest 100-Meter Dash
Timed in 5.95 seconds by one of the uneaten officials.
Sixty Bills in House to Rename Post Offices
Before closing them.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Americans Seethe as They're Forced to Wait a Little Longer for Tech Support
While 600 million Indians go without power in largest blackout in human history.
Report: 8.7% of Facebook Accounts Fake
If you have 100 friends, at least eight don't exist, maybe nine.
 
SPORTS
NBC Harshly Criticized for Its Delayed Coverage of Olympics
Spoiler alert: they've begun.
FEATURE
  • “It can be here today and gone tomorrow.”
  • “Itís great that some women donít have a choice.”
  • “Neither one of us had a job, because Mitt had enough of an investment from stock that we could sell off a little at a time.”
  • “We better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out.”
  • “Weíve given all you people need to know.”
  • What are these?
    A )Most loved quotes from Marie Antoinette.
    B )Wikileaks best-loved quotes from Sheldon Adelson.
    C ) Joe Bidenís wet dream of Ann Romney Quotes.
    D )Actual quotes from Ann Romney. 
    Hint: Keep your eye on the Olympics Dressage competition.

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