Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 6 - 12, 2012
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PEOPLE
Palins Visit Chick-fil-A in Support of Homophobic CEO
And because Cracker Barrel was closed.
 
BUSINESS
At Least $21 Trillion Hidden
Offshore by World's Wealthy,
Says New Study

Much of it earmarked to get Romney elected.
Stock Market Roiled by Wild Fluctuations From High-Speed Computer-Driven Trades
Which prompts wild fluctuations in mattress prices.
Former Citigroup CEO “Sandy” Weill, Who Pushed for Dismantling of Glass-Steagall, Calls for Its Return
All that money he made has been bothering him.
SCIENCE
Article in Nature Predicts Imminent, Irreversible Planetary Collapse
Full year subscriptions no longer available.
China Matches Europe With 7.2 Tons of CO2 Per Person in 2011
But U.S. still champ at 17.3 tons per person.
 
Physicists See More Proof Higgs Boson Exists
For one thing, t-shirt sales are through the roof.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: We Believe We're Losing Weight When We're Actually Gaining
Also, we think we're getting smarter when we're actually fucking idiots.
 
LIFESTYLE
Labor Dept. Finds Old People, High School Dropouts Watch the Most TV
Elderly high school dropouts only watch TV.

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