Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 7 - 13, 2009
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PEOPLE
Ex-Representative Jefferson Files for
Bankruptcy

Assets frozen.
Jenna Bush Hager Wins Job as “Today Show” Correspondent
Beats out Chelsea Clinton, Amy Carter and her twin sister, Barbara.
 
BUSINESS
Report: 93% of New Hires in Next Decade Will be 55 and Older
Remember to speak up when ordering a hamburger.
New York Off Track Betting
Files for Bankruptcy

Couldn't compete with Wall Street.
Disney Buys Marvel
The Thing (left) now reports to Bambi.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Memory Decline for
Those Not Eating Enough
Fruits, Vegetables

Many can't recall last time they had fruit, vegetables.
Larger Study Needed to Confirm Higher Death Risk for People With Thin Thighs
Though preliminary results promising.
 
Study: Taking Daily Aspirin May Do More Harm Than Good
Ask your doctor if reading studies is right for you.
 
SCIENCE
Fossil of 5 Million-Year-Old Sloth Discovered in Peru
Sitting on a couch.
Researchers Observe a Memory Being Made
Before they're arrested.

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