Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 10 - 16, 2009
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MISCELLANEOUS
Man Breaks World Record for Holding Most World Records
Holds one more as well: Most First Dates.
Watching TV Even Worse for Kids Than Previously Thought
Instead of turning them into sedentary illiterates, it's turning them into obese ignorant zombies.
 
SPORTS
Study: Cheerleading Causes Most Serious Sports Injuries
Advises cheerleaders to remain seated and root quietly amongst themselves.
Procter & Gamble in Deal with NFL
Cover Girl named official eyeshadow of Pittsburgh Steelers.
 
CORRECTION
 
Responding to the Senate Finance Committee’s desire not to rush the drafting of health care legislation, we quoted Barack Obama saying, “Millions do not now have protection or security against the economic effects of sickness. The time has arrived for action to help them attain that opportunity and that protection.” In fact, the quote comes from a speech by Harry S. Truman on November 19, 1945.
FEATURE
Coca-Cola’s Dasani bottled water comes from:
  A ) a clear mountain spring in Canada’s snow-capped Dasani range.
  B ) the pure headwaters of the Dasani river in the Alaskan wilderness.
  C ) the tap.
Hint: maybe Dasani is the name of the company that makes the faucet.
 
FACTOID
Study: Doctors Miss Depression in 50% of Depressed Patients
Twice that rate for doctors taking antidepressants.
 
MILESTONES
40th Anniversary of Woodstock Celebrated
Celebrated simultaneously with 15th anniversary of 25th anniversary.

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