| PEOPLE |
 |
 Putin Bares
Chest for “Former
Russian Presidents”
Calendar
Shown above: October. |
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|
Paula Abdul
Quits “American Idol”
Exit could signal presidential run. |
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Palin Reportedly Planning
Radio Show
Something along the lines of "Burns
and Allen." |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Murdoch to Start Charging for
News
That'll be ten cents. |
|
Number of Food Stamp
Recipients Exceeds 34 Million
Convenience stores, junk food
manufacturers call news
“encouraging.” |
|
 Disney
Misses Earnings Estimate
Grumpy blames Dopey. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Researchers Pinpoint
Biochemical
Pathways by Which Cannabis
Causes Memory Loss
It’s around here, somewhere. |
|
Study: Temptation Harder to
Resist Than You Think
Based on thousands of interviews in Hell. |
| |
 Aesop’s
Fable of Thirsty Crow
Raising Water Level in
Pitcher By Dropping
Stones into it Confirmed
in Experiment
Next up: verifying level
of protection afforded
fleeing rabbits by briar
patch as described in Tales
of Uncle Remus. |
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| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Recent Studies Show Exercise No Help
in Losing Weight
Just like you always suspected. |
|
Relationships Improve After
Spousal Organ Transplants
So don’t go to bed angry, give the jerk
a kidney. |
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