Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 10 - 16, 2009
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PEOPLE
Putin Bares Chest for “Former Russian Presidents” Calendar
Shown above: October.
Paula Abdul Quits “American Idol”
Exit could signal presidential run.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Palin Reportedly Planning Radio Show
Something along the lines of "Burns and Allen."
 
BUSINESS
Murdoch to Start Charging for News
That'll be ten cents.
Number of Food Stamp Recipients Exceeds 34 Million
Convenience stores, junk food manufacturers call news “encouraging.”
Disney Misses Earnings Estimate
Grumpy blames Dopey.
SCIENCE
Researchers Pinpoint Biochemical
Pathways by Which Cannabis
Causes Memory Loss

It’s around here, somewhere.
Study: Temptation Harder to
Resist Than You Think

Based on thousands of interviews in Hell.
 
Aesop’s Fable of Thirsty Crow Raising Water Level in Pitcher By Dropping Stones into it Confirmed in Experiment
Next up: verifying level of protection afforded fleeing rabbits by briar patch as described in Tales of Uncle Remus.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Recent Studies Show Exercise No Help in Losing Weight
Just like you always suspected.
Relationships Improve After
Spousal Organ Transplants

So don’t go to bed angry, give the jerk a kidney.

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