Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 17 - 23, 2007
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
Ethiopia: Coptic Christians Celebrate Coptic Millennium
Cope with Coptic Y2K mess.
Cellphone Use Banned for Teen
Drivers In California

If they want to talk on the phone while going 80 miles an hour they'll have to go to Nevada.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story
Just Fill In the Blanks


_____, the highest ranking official in the Department of _____ to be accused of lying, explained that his sworn testimony before the _____ Committee was not a lie because of reasons he could not divulge. ____ appeared to have perjured himself __ times, and was contradicted by __ other high officials. When confronted with contradictory accounts of ___ and ___ by ____, ____, and ____, he stated that the apparent conflict could be easily explained, but would involve the disclosure of a secret program. If the ____ could see the details, they would understand. He invoked both National Security and Executive Privilege in withholding all documents related to ____. This explanation did not seem to convince ____, or _____, who remained extremely skeptical, and _____, who was dumbfounded.
Finally, a Solution for Gridlock!
This one-man flying saucer floats just above the traffic but under the radar, so you won't attract a squadron of F-16's on your way to work. Just keep an eye out for trees, billboards and maniacs in jet-packs. First one's already been purchased: by a bearded gentleman in northwest Pakistan. $90,000, at Hovercrafterie.
New Camera From Sony Snaps Picture When It Detects a Smile
Has additional settings for Smirk, Sneer and Scowl.
Exercise Bike Lets Riders Compete With Others on Web
On the Internet, nobody knows you're on steroids.
 
LAW
Little-Noticed Provision in Patriot Act Speeds Up Executions
Condemned's last meal now prepared in microwave.
 
SPORTS
Pats Secretly Videotaped Jets
To Steal Defensive Signals

After obtaining National Security Letter from DOJ.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2007 Ironic Times