Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 26 - APRIL 1, 2007
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SPORTS
Scandal: Japanese Sumo Wrestling Matches “Fixed”
Fooled everyone for 1500 years.
 
LAW
Italian Anti-Paparazzi Law Targets Those Who “Violate the Protection of the Sexual Sphere”
In fact, “Paparazzi” means “those who
violate the protection of the sexual sphere.”
Supreme Court Hears “Bong
Hits 4 Jesus” Case

Expected to rule similarly to last year's “Crack Pipes 4 Christ” case.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story: Just Fill in the Blanks

Civilian Population Caught in the Middle In _____.


Another ____ going off in a crowded ____ in ____ has highlighted the dilemma of the predominantly ____ section of the mainly ____ province of ____. Funded by ____, militants from the ____ minority target the majority ____s, who have formed militias, funded by _____ to defend themselves and retaliate against the ____s. Caught in the middle is the civilian population of ____.
FEATURE
Which U.S. foreign policy blunder from the last 100 years has had the worst impact on the United States and other countries in the affected area today:
A ) Vietnam, 1964-1973.
B ) The CIA-backed coup which ousted the democratically elected President Salvador Allende in Chile, replacing him with the tyrant, General Augusto Pinochet in 1970.
C ) The CIA plot to oust Prime Minister Mohammad Mossadegh (who had nationalized the Iranian oil industry) and install the young Shah in power in 1953.
Hint: the top recording artist of the year was Patti Page.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
New Book: Clutter Actually
Preferable to Neatness

Publication delayed when final draft misplaced “somewhere by the chair.”
Dogs Being Used to Combat
Music Piracy

Trained to attack anyone with an iPod.

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