Ironic Times

 NO. 234 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 7 - 13, 2005 

Feb 28
March 14
 
STEVE FOSSETT COMPLETES FIRST SOLO NONSTOP FLIGHT AROUND THE GLOBE
His luggage, however, ends up in Cleveland.
 
WORLD NEWS
Lebanese Government Resigns
To spend more time with their families.
U.S. Forces Accidentally Fire on Pope
Popemobile approached checkpoint at high rate of speed.
Democracy Sweeping Across
Middle East

Millions can now vote for the mullah of their choice.
 
POLITICS
Top Executives Barnstorm for Bush's Social Security Plan
Ken Lay (left), Bernie Ebbers (center), Dennis Kozlowski (right) promote investing in stock market rather than current system.
U. S. NEWS
Greenspan Suggests Shift
To Consumption Tax

“I've got everything I need,” he explains.
House Passes “Doomsday” Bill in Case of Capitol Catastrophe
Like an ethics investigation.
Several Key Republicans
Reverse Stance, Now Back
President on Social Security

Their families are returned, unharmed.
 
REMINDER
   There's a P.T. Barnum born every
   minute.
 
Bush: Stopping Bin Laden “Greatest Challenge of Our Day”
Steroids in baseball next, 20,000 children per day dying of starvation is 19th.
Supreme Court Deliberations
On Ten Commandments Case
Grow Heated

Scalia murders Stevens; Souter steals O'Connor's purse; Kennedy covets Rehnquist's ox; Thomas fucks Breyer's wife; Ginsburg worships golden calf.
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