| MILESTONES |
 |
Guinness
Cites Brazilian Woman,
125, as World's Oldest
Maria Olivia da Silva
attributes long life to
“drinking lots of
Guinness.” |
|
 |
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Liechtenstein: Farmers Can No
Longer Feed Cannabis to Livestock
New rule imposed when cows began acting
paranoid. |
|
U.S. Military Developing
Weapon That Inflicts “Excruciating
Pain” From Great Distance
More powerful than a “Dear
John” letter, say experts. |
| |
| NEW PRODUCTS |
|
 New
Security- Conscious Wireless
Personal Analog Assistant Beats
'em All!
And at a fraction of the price.
With the novel Notepad® you'll
never have to worry about
personal information being posted
on the Internet! It's totally
hack-proof. Plus, it has built-in
handwriting recognition software
(you!) and stores up to 150 pages
of text, doodles, and idle
thoughts in its memory. Pen
not included. $.89 at all 89
Cents Only stores. Recyclable. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| To protect those
most deserving of a
second chance to get out
of debt, Congress has
added which one of the
following provisions to
the Bankruptcy Reform
Bill? |
| A ) | Exemption for military
personnel forced into
bankruptcy by serving in
Iraq. |
| B ) | Exemption for those
forced into bankruptcy by
job loss or medical
crisis. |
| C ) | Exemption for those
forced into bankruptcy
after being taken aboard
flying saucers for
medical experiments. |
| D ) | Exemption for
millionaires who have
taken the precaution of
hiding their assets in
“Asset Protection
Trusts.” |
|
|
|
| |
| ODDS 'N ENDS |
|
Study: Having an Imaginary
Friend Can Be Healthy
Except when applying for a job. |
|
Diamond- Encrusted
Tea Bag Honored
Named “Most Decadent
Object” in poll of
experts. |
|
 |
|
|
