| FASHION |
 |
 |
Eyeball
Jewelry Catching On
Spleen studs are next,
say experts. |
|
| AUTOMOTIVE |
|
Poll: Owners of
High-Performance Cars Have More
Extra-Marital Sex
But it’s over faster. |
|
War Accounts for 6% of Fatal
Injuries, Auto Accidents 25%
Lower speed limits, more preemptive
invasions would bring figures into line,
say experts. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Fan of Team Attends NBA
Playoff Game
Combining life savings with his
children's college fund he's
able to amass enough money to pay for a
ticket, but has nothing left for popcorn,
or a drink. |
|
Philadelphia's
New Ballpark Mistakenly
Demolished
“Misunderstanding”
forces Phillies to cut
short game with Mets. |
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|
|
| SPECIAL FEATURE |
| Training U.S.
Forces Guarding Iraqi
Prisoners Did Not Receive |
| 1. | Do
not beat the prisoners. |
| 2. | Do
not strip the prisoners
and force them to lie on
top of each other in a
pile. |
| 3. | Do
not put leashes around
their necks, or force
male prisoners to wear
women's underwear on
their heads, even if it
seems like it would be a
fun thing to do. |
| 4. |
Do not force prisoners to
perform sex acts of any
kind on each other. |
| 5. |
Do not set dogs on the
prisoners. |
| 6. |
Do not rape the prisoners. |
| 7. |
Do not kill the prisoners. |
|
| (According to
Pentagon officials our
forces are now receiving
this important training.) |
|
|
|
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
| |
U.S. Drops
H-Bomb on Mecca, Kills Millions
Incident “likely” to worsen
relations with Muslims, says expert. |
|
