Ironic Times

 NO. 179 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 16 - 22, 2004 

Feb 9
Feb 23
 
BUSH: I'LL PRODUCE DOCUMENTS PROVING SERVICE IN ALABAMA NATIONAL GUARD
Orders release of all DUI citations from that year.
 
WORLD NEWS
Powell: No Reason to Intervene
Militarily in Haiti

Would consider it only if they strike oil there.
Bush is One of 173 Nobel
Peace Prize Nominees

Along with Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, and Saddam Hussein.
 
BUSINESS
FDA Approves ImClone’s
Cancer Drug

Announcement made just after Martha Stewart buys back her shares in company.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Robotic Dog Wins Best in Show at Westminster
Klatu (right), a Japanese Springer Spaniel, won over judges with his lively personality.
U. S. NEWS
Intelligence Failures to Be
Probed by Bush-Appointed
Blue Ribbon Panel

As soon as they return from duck hunting trip.
Bush Gets Tough on Sellers of Nukes
Demands 24-hour waiting period, background checks, except at gun shows.
Rumsfeld Unable To Answer Reporter's “Very Difficult” Question
He tries, but can't come up with a rational explanation for why we invaded Iraq.
 
REMINDER
   You're mad as hell and you're not
   going to take it anymore.
 
White House Forecasts 14.5
Million New Jobs by 2009

Most in White House Office of Preposterous Forecasts.
GOP Rallies Behind Gay
Marriage Ban

Except when couples are extremely rich.
 
POLITICS
Campaign: Clark Drops Out of
Race for President

Enters race for vice president.
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