Ironic Times

 NO. 149 "Expect the Ironic" JULY 21 - 27, 2003 

July 14
July 28
 
WHAT, ME WORRY?
Bush Gets Some Needed Support

President welcomes old friend and adviser Alfred E. Neuman (left) to White House for a highly visible photo op.
 
WORLD NEWS
Iraq Problems a Learning
Experience for U.S.

Post-war planning for next conquest will be
better, with more coordination between State and Defense departments.
 
POLITICS
The GOP is off to a terrific start raising money for Bush's reelection, thanks to an aggressive fundraiser reward system:
U. S. NEWS
Bush: WMD Intelligence
"Darn Good"

Unemployment "darn low," medical costs "darn affordable."
Tech Jobs Migrating to India,
Other Low-Wage Countries

But new jobs opening up in U.S. for textile workers, child prostitutes.
 
REMINDER
    The meanies justify the ends.
 
White House: Saddam Really
Wanted Yellowcake

For his birthday, with a scoop of ice cream.
Lobbyists Arrive in Washington with Expertise, Information, Advocacy
Also bring cash, gifts, sex.
  Category   Amount Raised   Reward           
  Pioneer   $100,000   Breakfast with Condi
  Ranger   $200,000   Lunch with Karl
  Hummer   $250,000   Evening of liar's poker with Dick and Don
  Vulture   $300,000   Night of eavesdropping with Ashcroft
  Buccaneer   $500,000   All night pub crawl with Jenna
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