Ironic Times

 NO. 95 "Expect the Ironic" JULY 8 - 14, 2002 

July 1
July 15
HEIGHTENED SECURITY ALERT ISSUED
Next alert may include cats.
 
WORLD NEWS
U.S. Sets Conditions for
Peacekeeping Missions

We get top billing, our own trailer, and immunity from prosecution.
 
BUSINESS
No CEO's, CFO's Caught
Stealing Today

But it's still early.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Michael Jackson Accuses Sony of Cheating Blacks
Says he feels sorry for his black friends.
 
U. S. NEWS
Temperature Hits 200 in Boston
Symposium on global warming forced to move inside.
Federal Election Commission Expands Campaign Finance Loopholes
Trucks lining up to drive through.
Drunk Pilots Fired by America
West Airlines

Hired by Wild West Airlines.
 
REMINDER
Wear shoes to your next job interview.
 
Alabama Drops Electric Chair in
Favor of Lethal Injections

Poison salesmen out-lobby electricity salesmen for lucrative contract.
Cigarettes Now $7.50 a Pack in NYC
Even secondhand smoke too expensive for most people.
Crack Found on 3rd Space Shuttle
Five astronauts in rehab.
Report: Drinking Too Much
Water Can Kill You

Drink a minimum of eight glasses a day, but not one drop more, says study.
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