Ironic Times

NO. 40 "Expect the Ironic" JUNE 18 - 24, 2001

June 11
June 25
SADDAM ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT GOES AWRY
Lone gunman in critical condition.
 
WORLD NEWS
President's European Trip Improves Image Overseas
Now viewed as a “very likable threat to world peace.”
California Becomes World's 5th Largest Economy, Passing France
France becomes world's 5th narliest surfing hangout, passing California.
 
PEOPLE
Jenna Bush Finishes Alcohol
Awareness Class

Now extremely aware of alcohol.
Pope Hit by Meteorite
But he'll be fine, says his personal physician.
U. S. NEWS
McVeigh Sentenced to Die Again
Second death sentence is for final message quoting awful poem, "Invictus."
Supreme Court Rules Religious Clubs Can Meet on Government Property
Scalia, Thomas, O'Connor, Rehnquist and Kennedy can continue meeting.
Compromise on Patients' Bill of Rights Offered by White House
Right to sue HMO replaced by right to bear arms during medical exams.
Replacement Site for Vieques Announced
Navy to begin bombing East Harlem in 2003.
 
REMINDER
  Keep up with the Joneses.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
U.S. Postal Service Updates
Familiar Motto

It now reads: "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor crazed gunman shooting in all directions stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."
 
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times