Ironic Times

NO. 39 "Expect the Ironic" JUNE 11 - 17, 2001

June 4
June 18
BUSH BUILDS BACKYARD HOLDING CELL FOR DAUGHTERS
“Just for the summer,” he promises.
 
WORLD NEWS
Bush Sends CIA Chief to Middle East
Will meet with, assassinate key leaders.
Surviving Nazi-Era Slave Laborers
To Get Reparations

Some cash, lifetime passes to Euro Disney.
 
INTERNET
New Survey: 90% of Web
Surfers Visit Just 4 Sites

They are: AOL.com, Yahoo.com, MSN.com, and nakedcelebritybutts.com.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Former Argentine President Menem Calmly Accepts House Arrest
70 year-old leader forced to stay home with 35 year-old bride, former Miss Universe.
U. S. NEWS
Court Rules Against Videotaping of McVeigh Execution
But will allow cartoon version.
Final Report: Florida Disenfranchised Thousands of Black Voters
President calls to congratulate his brother and Secretary of State Harris.
California Power Crisis Having "Ripple" Effect
Causing many to drink cheap wine.
 
WHY I DRINK
by Jenna Bush

I drink for the same reason I have sex: it makes me feel good. Getting numb on strawberry margaritas is my way of relaxing. It takes my mind off my stupid schoolwork and allows me to really let go with a lot of guys my parents have no idea about.

I drink because, if I'm responsible enough to drive, responsible enough to vote, responsible enough to serve my country, then I'm responsible enough to drink as much as I can handle.
And finally, I drink because you can't eat beer nuts and nachos without something to wet your whistle. Par-ty!
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