Ironic Times

NO. 27 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 19 - 25, 2001

Mar 12
Mar 26
MCDONALD'S INTRODUCES NEW BRITISH BURGER
Two all-beef patties, pickle, lettuce, relish on sesame seed bun, dipped in disinfectant.
 
WORLD NEWS
Taliban Destroy Oscar Statuettes
Final plea from Jack Valenti ignored.
Lock of Buddha's Hair Found in China
Now on display in Beijing barber shop.
 
BUSINESS
Investors Fleeing Tech
Stocks, Blue Chips

Moving funds into NCAA office pools.
Earnings Warning at FreeLunch.com
Lack of revenue hurts balance sheet, stock tumbles.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
TWO CHAMPS MEET
John Ruiz, who hasn't beaten Lennox Lewis, and George Bush, who hasn't beaten Al Gore, smile proudly for the camera.
U. S. NEWS
Congress Reaches Campaign
Finance Reform Compromise

Senators, representatives may be bought, but not re-sold.
Coca-Cola Yields on
School Marketing

Will remove phrase "It's the real thing" from Pledge of Allegiance.
Unborn Fetus Gets Life Without
Parole in Florida Case

Officers with tiny handcuffs await delivery.
 
POLITICS
SCHWARZENEGGER MAY RUN FOR CALIFORNIA STATEHOUSE
Believes he can beat "girly man" Gov. Gray Davis.
 
MODERN LIVING
Poll: 68% Believe “Your Call Will
Be Answered in the Order in Which
It Was Received” is a Load of Bull
The rest (32%) think it's a crock.
Taco Bell's "Hannibal" Action
Figures Are Edible
"Bad taste," say some; "taste good," say others.
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times