Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - MARCH 12, 2001
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  MOVIES
Teenage Boys Deeply Affected by Carmen Electra in "Get Over It"
Nuanced interpretation of femme fatale impresses film aficionados, 13-19.
  SPORTS
XFL in Talks with Attica State Prison for Expansion Franchise
Warden wants only home games.
 
MUSIC
TOP 10 FLIP SIDES OF ALL TIME
1. Please Be Cruel -- Elvis Presley
2. I Want to Hold Your Foot -- The Beatles
3. Your Way -- Frank Sinatra
4. White Kwanzaa -- Bing Crosby
5. Blitzen, the Brown-Nosed Reindeer -- Gene Autry
6. Escalator to Hell -- Led Zeppelin
7. Like a Slut -- Madonna
8. Second Hand Smoke Gets in Your Eyes -- The Platters
9. I'm Very Satisfied -- The Rolling Stones
10. How Much Is That Gerbil in the Window? -- Patti Page
INTERVIEW

Larry King Talks With...
Osama bin Laden

(The following is an excerpt from an interview broadcast on CNN's "Larry King Live")
LK: You're known mainly for your work in international terrorism, do you have time for family life?
bin Laden: Oh, yes. I try to keep my week-ends free for my wives and the kids. There's always a soccer game, or a dance recital or something.
LK: Do you ever wish that you weren't so famous?
bin Laden: (laughing) Only every day! It would be great to go out to Mickey D's once in a while, without my bodyguards.
LK: Looking five years down the road, what do you see Osama bin Laden doing?
bin Laden: My dream is to retire to my farm and raise thoroughbreds. I have a couple now, but I never see them. Maybe when the Israelis have been pushed into the sea, and I've eaten George Bush's liver. I also have a betting system I've been working on.
LK: Can you tell us what the system is?
bin Laden: Sorry, but that's top secret!

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