| PEOPLE |
 |
 Musk Spent
Millions in Wisconsin on Supreme
Court Race
And all he got was this cheesehead. |
|
|
Trump “Not Joking” About
a Third Term
And “deadly serious”
about a fourth. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Egg Prices Lower, But
They're Hard to Find
Experts blame shortage on bird flu,
people egging Teslas. |
|
Trump Slaps 10% Tariff on Two
Uninhabited Antarctic Islands
But says he's “willing to negotiate.” |
|
 Wall Street Officially
in Bear Market
Bull statue placed in storage,
replaced by bear statue (not shown). |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Study Predicts AI Will Become
Better Than Humans at Everything
Except You Know What by 2027
Thanks to our pheromones. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
 California:
Construction of World's Largest
Wildlife Crossing Continues
Funding will come from congestion
pricing: $9 for mountain lions, $5 for
foxes and raccoons, $1 for squirrels. |
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
CDC Reports 607 Cases
of Measles Nationwide
Trump issues executive order
banning nationwide measles reports. |
| |
| CORRECTION |
| |
| Last week we said the Secretary
of Commerce is “a nudnick.” In fact,
it's Lutnick. We don't regret the error. |
|
|
