Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 3 - 9, 2025
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ART
Mona Lisa Will Get Her Own Room in The Louvre
With her own bathroom and full-length mirror.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Boy Scouts Drop “Boy”
From Name

Will also stop helping little old ladies across street.
Pentagon Bans Observing
Black History Month

Also, you can forget Holocaust Remembrance Day.
 
EDUCATION
Children's Reading Scores
Hit New Low

Researchers say adult skills have also declined, as have researchers'.
 
SPORTS
Sports Personality Stephen A Smith Weighs Run for President
With millions of fans and an oversized ego, he checks the only two boxes that matter.
FEATURE
According to Bloomberg, how much did the total net worth of the world's ten wealthiest people increase on Election Day, Nov. 6, 2024?
   A )  $64  
   B )  $64,000  
   C )  $64,000,000  
   D )  $64,000,000,000  
Hint: who did they think won, a grifter who doesn't pay taxes?
 
RELIGION
Pope: Too Much Scrolling
Causes “Brain Rot”

Says people should put phone down every so often and masturbate.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Dr. Phil Joins ICE on Deportation Raid in Chicago
Actually, ICE raided a taping of Dr. Phil's show and arrested two grips and the sandwich guy.

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