| PEOPLE |
 |
 Trump Names
Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson,
Jon Voight “Special Ambassadors”
to Hollywood
They'll be tasked with trying to revive
their careers. |
|
|
 Michelle Obama
to Skip Inauguration
“Teeth cleaning appointment I just
can't break,” she explains. |
|
| |
| MEDIA |
|
Report: Fact-Checking
May Be Dead
This according to Walter Cronkite
on his new podcast. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Feds Accuse Capital One of
Bilking Customers Out of $2 Billion
Want to see what's in their wallet. |
|
Meta Describes Massive Layoffs
as “Nonregrettable Attrition”
Describes massive executive bonuses
as “nonregrettable bonanza.” |
|
| SCIENCE |
|
FDA Bans Red Dye No. 3
Because It's Linked to
Cancer in Rats
“We've lost too many rats,” agency
declares. |
|
 Bezos Successfully
Launches Own Rocket
“Mine's bigger than his,” he boasts
afterwards. |
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Wants
to Ban Drug Ads on TV
Side effects may include: putting
commercial television out of business. |
|
Study: 54% of Young Americans'
Dreams Influenced by Advertising
Many say they dream they're in an
Ozempic commercial, but aren't
wearing any clothes. |
|
Lead Poisoning in Ancient
Rome Lowered IQs, May
Have Contributed to Decline
of Roman Empire
Plastic, anyone? |
|
