Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2024
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NEW PRODUCTS
Rudy Giuliani Unveils Own Brand of Coffee
“You'll piss in your pants,” he exclaims.
LAW
Trump Asks Republicans to
Pass Law Making Ex-Presidents
Immune From State Prosecution

But not ex-vice presidents.
RNC's “Election Integrity”
Lawyer Indicted, Charged
With Election Crimes

“I was just doing research,” says Christina Bobb, pleading not guilty.
 
SPORTS
NFL: Kansas City Kicker Creates Controversy After Comments About Women
“Present company excluded,” he assures Taylor Swift.
NCAA Agrees to Let College
Athletes Get Paid

“I'm rich!” exults Sally McPherson, a backup goalkeeper on Oberlin's women's soccer team.
FEATURE
What were the most popular baby names in 2023?
   A )  Gus and Tillie  
   B )  Fred and Ginger  
   C )  Ricky and Lucy  
   D )  Liam and Olivia  
Hint: neither Groucho nor ZaSu made the list.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Trump Claims Biden, DOJ Authorized FBI to Assassinate Him
Among his less outlandish claims.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
  Video Portal Connecting Dublin,
New York Temporarily Shut Down

Technical problems allow people to walk back and forth between cities, causing panic in airline industry.

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