| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 Rudy Giuliani
Unveils Own Brand of Coffee
“You'll piss in your pants,” he exclaims. |
|
| LAW |
|
Trump Asks Republicans to
Pass Law Making Ex-Presidents
Immune From State Prosecution
But not ex-vice presidents. |
|
RNC's “Election Integrity”
Lawyer Indicted, Charged
With Election Crimes
“I was just doing research,” says
Christina Bobb, pleading not guilty. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 NFL: Kansas
City Kicker Creates Controversy
After Comments About Women
“Present company excluded,”
he assures Taylor Swift. |
|
|
NCAA Agrees to Let College
Athletes Get Paid
“I'm rich!” exults Sally McPherson,
a backup goalkeeper on Oberlin's
women's soccer team. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| What were the most popular
baby names in 2023? |
| |
A ) |
Gus and Tillie |
|
| |
B ) |
Fred and Ginger |
|
| |
C ) |
Ricky and Lucy |
|
| |
D ) |
Liam and Olivia |
|
| Hint: neither Groucho
nor ZaSu made the list. |
|
|
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Trump Claims Biden, DOJ Authorized
FBI to Assassinate Him
Among his less outlandish claims. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 |
| |
Video Portal Connecting Dublin,
New York Temporarily Shut Down
Technical problems allow people to
walk back and forth between cities,
causing panic in airline industry. |
|
