Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2024
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PEOPLE
Another Pro-Trump Flag Spotted at Different Alito House
He says this one was “the maid's idea.”
Nikki Haley Says She'll Vote for Trump
Won't let her sense of dignity, self-respect get in way of career ambition.
 
BUSINESS
Scarlett Johansson Complains That OpenAI's ChatGPT Voice Sounds Just Like Her
Company says it will switch to new voice that sounds just like Fran Drescher, who says she's thrilled.
Self-Driving Vehicle Companies
Face Federal Safety Investigations

Companies claim “no one is responsible.”
CONSUMER NEWS
New Version of Swiss Army Knife Will Have No Knife Blade
Despite strong opposition from Swiss army.
 
SCIENCE
Study: Microplastics Found
in Every Human Testicle
Tested, Explaining Lower
Global Sperm Count

Conclusion: human males rapidly evolving into Ken dolls.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Microsoft Adding AI to Windows
Despite small possibility it could lead to a world ruled by Clippy.
New Phone Apps Boil
Books Down to 15 Minutes
Reading Time

If you're a speed reader you can polish off Finnegan's Wake during a TV commercial.

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