Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAR 27 - APR 2, 2023
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PEOPLE
Trump Posts AI-Generated Image of Himself Praying
Tells close aide he only did it "to squeeze some bucks out of the Jesus freaks."
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Murdoch to Be Married Again
They met on MayDecemberMingle.
 
MEDIA
Musk Now Responds to All Press Inquiries With Poop Emoji
And don't try asking him anything in person.
 
BUSINESS
Fed's Powell Raises
Interest Rate .25%

“Damned if we do and damned if we don't,” he explains.
Several Big Banks Rescue First Republic With $30 Billion
“We take care of our own,” says JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon.
SCIENCE
  Scientists Now Say “Extraterrestrial Visitor” Oumuamua Nothing More Than a Comet
You'd say the same thing with a weird-looking ray gun pointed at your head.
Scientists Decode DNA From Beethoven's Hair
Yields three new symphonies and a concerto.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Nevada Asks Las Vegas
to Limit Water Use

Sets “two-rocks” maximum for Scotch on the Rocks.
Study: Plastic in Oceans Will Outweigh Fish by 2050
Those concerned about such matters advised to eat less fish.
 
RELIGION
Pope Francis Hints Priests Might Not Have to Be Celibate in Future
But speaking for himself, “that train has left the station.”

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