| MEDIA |
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 Former White
House Press Secretary Kayleigh
McEnany Joins Fox News
After she commits to remain a blonde. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Turner Classic Movies to
Examine 18 Classic Movies
For “Sexist and Racist Content”
Simultaneously celebrating and condemning
these masterpieces. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
More Job Interviews Being
Conducted by Robots
As more robots seek employment. |
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Google Will No Longer Target Ads
Based on Your Internet Activity
You'll have to do your own search for
bust and penis enhancers. |
|
 Nestlé Announces
Vegan Kit Kat Bar
“Gimme a break, gimme a break, break
me off a piece of that — uh, never
mind.” |
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| SCIENCE |
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Mysterious, Hidden Layer
Of Earth's Core Discovered
It's a light chocolate cream. |
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Expert Warns: Falling Sperm
Counts “Threaten Human Survival”
Fortunately, apes will take over like
nothing happened. |
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First Space Hotel to Start
Construction by 2026
Already interviewing undocumented
immigrants for cleaning jobs. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Benefits of Microdosing
LSD Might be Placebo Effect
Or else somebody got hold of some
incredible placebos. |
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Biden's FDA to Take on
Heavy Metals in Baby Food
Previous administration had them added. |
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Report: Talking Spreads
Virus, But Not Touching
News hailed by men everywhere. |
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