| PEOPLE |
 |
 Trump Named
“Most Admired Man” in
Latest Gallup Poll
Barely beats out Jeffrey Toobin. |
|
|
Ted Cruz, Whose Wife Trump Insulted
and Whose Father Trump Linked to
JFK Assassination, Backs Trump
Attempt to Overturn Election
And says Trump might be right about
his father. |
| |
| MEDIA |
|
Cable News Networks Fear
Post-Trump Future
And return to stories about blondes
reported missing while on vacation
in Bermuda. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Survey: 56 New Billionaires
Since Pandemic Began
Fifty-six new presidential hopefuls. |
|
 Lawsuit
Filed Against King's Hawaiian
Dinner Rolls Because They're
Not Made in Hawaii
Suit claims they're made in Kenya. |
|
|
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Vaccine Distribution Problems
Exacerbated by Line-Jumping
Rich People
Many of Trump's friends asking
for shot along with their pardon. |
|
Study: Young Adults Who
Spend More Than 5 Hours
Daily on Social Media Much
More Likely to be Depressed
And don't even go near one who's on
it more than ten hours daily. |
|
Study Finds Insomnia Can
Be Treated With Placebos
Ask your imaginary doctor if placebos
are right for you. |
|
New Government Dietary
Guidelines Ignore Advice
From Scientists, Dieticians
Instead, recommends increased
consumption of red meat,
chocolate cake, Diet Coke. |
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
 Newly Unearthed
Pompeii Snack Stand Still
Has Bits of Old Food
One tiny piece identified as a lime
Jujube. |
|
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