Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 17 - 23, 2020
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PUBLISHING
Cohen Book Forward Hints at Golden Showers, Cheating on Melania
And three hundred pages of shady real estate contracts.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Hedonism Key to
Living Happier Life

According to those who have never tried it.
Fewer Passengers, But More
Guns Confiscated at Airports

Fliers really want an empty seat next to them.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Trump Lifts Obama-Era
Controls on Methane

Warns Biden Presidency could result in severe shortage of methane.
 
SPORTS
Much of College Football Shut Down
Student athletes can now devote all their time to academics.
FEATURE
At what rate are African-
Americans incarcerated
compared to whites?
  A ) The same.
  B ) Two times.
  C ) Three times.
  D ) Four times.
  E ) Five times.
Hint: it actually used to be higher.
 
EDUCATION
White House Issues Safety
Tips for Schools

No gum, no passing notes, no locking guys in their locker.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trump Calls for New Restrictions on Wind Turbines
Blames them for recent bad hair day.

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