Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 11 - 17, 2020
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PEOPLE
Trump Calls Pandemic “Worse Than Pearl Harbor”
“But not as bad as my impeachment,” he adds.
Elon Musk, Wife Welcome Baby Boy, X A-12 Musk
Note: X A-12 is the fifth most popular name for boys.
 
BUSINESS
Poll: 80% Think Billionaires
Should Help End Poverty,
Inequality, Other Global Ills

And still have enough left over to buy the Mets.
Luxury Brands Hit Hard as
Wealthy Consumer Habits Change

Discovering they can get by with just one Rolex.
Designers Create Protective Suit for People to Wear at Clubs, Raves
Perfect to wear when you see a Devo tribute band.
SCIENCE
Study: You Can Train Your Taste Buds to Like Vegetables
But it takes about forty years.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Artificial Intelligence
Will Find Vaccine Far Faster
Than Humans

But might not share it with us.
Coronavirus Outbreak
Causing 3 in 10 Marijuana
Users to Smoke More

According to survey by Frito-Lay.
Wharton Study: Relaxing
Lockdowns Will Result in
Additional 233,000 Deaths

“I never went to Wharton,” Trump now claims.
Study Suggests Odds &
Evens Approach to Relaxing
Lockdown Measures

On even-numbered days even-tempered people can go out, on odd-numbered days oddballs.
White House Blocks Fauci From Testifying Before House Committee
“He'll spill the beans,” says spokesman.

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