Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 4 - 10, 2020
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PEOPLE
North Korea: Kim Jong Un Resurfaces After Long Absence
According to state media, Supreme Leader was “chillin'.”
New White House Press Secretary: “I Will Never Lie to You”
“Yes, I'm a natural blond,” she answers first question.
 
MEDIA
Radio Host and Trump Ally Alex Jones Says He's Ready to Kill, Eat His Neighbors
Almost guaranteeing a Presidential Medal of Freedom.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Half of Workers Could
Make More From Unemployment
Than Low-Wage Jobs

Democrats call for higher wages; Republicans call for lower unemployment compensation.
Big Business Optimistic
After getting their small-business loans.
SCIENCE
Navy Releases Infamous UFO Videos Shot by Fighter Pilots
After UFOs release declassified videos of our warplanes.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Administration Announces
“Operation Warp Speed” to
Develop Vaccine

Supplants “Operation Deny, Stall, Cover Up.”
Coronavirus Outbreak Causing 3 in 10 Marijuana Users to Smoke More
According to survey by Frito-Lay.
Kushner: Trump's Pandemic Response “Great Success Story”
When compared to Nero.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, in a story about the Covid-19 pandemic surpassing the Vietnam War in number of deaths, we mistakenly identified the people pictured above as anti-war protesters in 1968. In fact, they're anti-lockdown protesters in 2020 calling for allowing the vulnerable and elderly to die so that they can go back to work. We regret the error.

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