| PEOPLE |
 |
 In Disastrous
Interview, Prince Andrew “Regrets”
Long Friendship With Known
Sex Offender Epstein
“At least it can't happen
again,” he adds, awkwardly. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Report: Number of World's
Billionaires Rises to 2,101
As always, latest member receives
$1 million for reaching billionaire
status. |
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Amazon Considers Adding
Face Scanning to Its Doorbell Cameras
Prime members will get access to
visitor's criminal record, driving
record, FICA score, medical records,
education, employment history,
and musical preferences. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
 Gwyneth Paltrow
Selling $1,350 Bondage Kit for Christmas
Her customers can trust that everything
in it is made from natural, organic,
recyclable materials. |
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| REAL ESTATE |
|
 Arizona: Missile
Silo on Sale for $395,000
Advertised as “novel fixer-upper
for the aspiring Dr. No.” |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: Animal Adolescence Filled
With Teen Drama, Peer Pressure
At least it's not about the clothes. |
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Scientists Decode Human
Thoughts Using MRI,
Computer Analysis
Hope to commercialize process, bring
cost down to a penny for your thoughts. |
|
 Researchers,
Using Aerial Photographs, AI,
Discover 143 More Ancient Drawings
Etched in Peruvian Desert
Believe they were drawn by primitive
tribes from another planet. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Breakthrough: Doctors Freeze,
Revive Human for First Time
In sports news, Red Sox add Ted Williams to
their 40-man roster. |
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