| PEOPLE |
 |
 Dems Prepare for
Next Big Debate
Hosted by Game Show Network. |
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| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Vinyl Records to Outsell CDs
For First Time Since 1986
With suddenly popular again wax cylinders
right behind. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Fast-Fashion Phenom
Forever 21 Filing for Bankruptcy
Will re-brand itself as No Longer 21. |
|
Trump: Fed Needs to Try
Negative Interest Rates
Then he'll never have to pay back
the Russians. |
|
 Porsche Unveils
Its First Electric Car
For the aggressive A-type asshole who cares
about the environment. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Fake News May
Lead to False Memories
Like the time you saw Elvis and Bigfoot
abducted by spacemen. |
|
Report: Could Soon Be Possible
to Reverse Biological Age
And become too young to buy beer. |
| |
 Habitable
Exoplanet Found to Have Water Vapor,
Possibly Rain Clouds
Billionaires planning to move there may
find it a bit humid. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Google Files Patent for Baby
Monitor That Warns You 10
Minutes Before Baby Wakes Up
Robbing parents of ten more minutes of
sleep. |
| |
| LIFESTYLE |
|
Survey: One Third of Families Sit
in Silence While Eating
Other two thirds scream and yell and threaten
each other with violence. |
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