| CONSUMER NEWS |
 |
 Amazon Introduces
Its Own Wall Clock
First offering from their new Luddite Division. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
In Newport Beach, CA Per
Capita Income Equal to Price
of Porsche 911 Carrera
“But not the Carrera S,”
laments one resident. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
Google CEO: Internet Will
Split in Two by 2028
Humans using one, robots the other. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
Texas Eliminates Hillary
Clinton, Barry Goldwater,
Helen Keller From Its
Textbooks
To make room for “winners.” |
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| FOOD |
|
Maine Restaurant Sedates
Lobsters With Marijuana
Before Cooking Them
Giving new meaning to “lobster pot.” |
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| FEATURE |
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| What is This? |
| ”What happens at Georgetown
Prep stays at Georgetown Prep, [laughter] and
that's been a good thing for all of us, I think.“ |
| A ) | Evidence offered by
city of Las Vegas in copyright infringement case
against Brett Kavanaugh, 2016. |
| B ) | Address to Brett
Kavanaugh's freshman class by President of Georgetown Prep. |
| C ) | Video of Brett
Kavanaugh speaking at his alma mater in 2015. |
| Hint: Las Vegas doesn't care, and
the President of Georgetown Prep isn't stupid. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Russia: Putin
Shows Off Sniper Skills Firing Kalashnikov
Sniper's Rifle
Observers claim he hit eight out of ten
political opponents at long range. |
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