Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 27 - SEP 2, 2018
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TECHNOLOGY
Company Embeds Microchips in Its Employees
Retroactive to 1984.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
France: Theme Park Trains
Crows to Pick Up Cigarette
Butts, Dump Them in Garbage

Trains eagles to pick up smokers, dump them in parking lot.
 
EDUCATION
Jeff Sessions: College Students “Sanctimonious, Sensitive, Supercilious Snowflakes”
“With no appreciation for asinine alliteration.”
 
SPORTS
NFL: Another Hard-Hitting, Bone-Crunching, Brain-Scrambling
Season About to Begin

Bafflingly, fewer parents letting their kids play football.
ANTHROPOLOGY
  Amazon Tribe Never Seen by Outsiders Spotted by Drone
Drone operated by nearby tribe first discovered last year.
 
AUTO NEWS
Russian Electric Car to Challenge Tesla
Has range of 300 miles with included 300-mile power cord.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
California: Surfing Named State's Official Sport
New state motto: “Narly.”

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