| MISCELLANEOUS |
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 |
| |
Germany: Sandcastle Verified
by Guinness as World's Largest
Later, Guinness verifies world's largest mob of
bullies who destroy it. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
Study: Later School Starting
Time Would Save $9 Billion a Year
Letting kids skip school altogether would save $1 trillion. |
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| LAW |
|
Supreme Court to Hear Cake Case
Which Could Legalize Discrimination
As long as it's based on sincerely held religious beliefs. |
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| RELIGION |
|
 Pope Francis Reveals
He Visited Psychoanalyst for 6 Months to
“Clarify Some Things”
Like a conflicted relationship with The Father. |
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|
 |
| Film studios are looking desperately for
something to bring back lost audiences.
What might they actually do? |
| A ) | Lower the astronomical price of tickets. |
| B ) | Lower the astronomical price of popcorn. |
| C ) | Release more good movies, fewer bad ones. |
| D ) | Sell beer, wine, marijuana, and mushrooms. |
| E ) | Pay Congress to shut down YouTube, Netflix,
cable, Internet. |
| F ) | Accelerate rollout of “Feelies.” |
| G ) | Do nothing but bitch, whine and complain all
the way to the bank. |
| Hint: Accelerating the rollout of “Feelies” might help. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
 |
 Thousands of
Trump-Shaped Ecstasy
Pills Seized in Germany
Eric, Don, Jr. deny any involvement. |
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