| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 First Novelty
Virtual Reality Glasses Go On Sale
Aimed at dorks who want to look like dorks. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Plan to Build 250-Foot-Tall
Statue of Margaret Thatcher
Revealed
For the Falkland Islands. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
U. of Houston Faculty Told to Avoid
“Sensitive Topics” if State Law
Allowing Concealed Weapons on
Campus Goes Into Effect
List of “Sensitive Topics” goes on
for 400 pages. |
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| SPORTS |
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 Baseball
Outlaws Hard Slides at Second Base
And crying will now be permitted. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Who said it, where, and when?
(Get this right and win a college scholarship.) |
| “Religion is regarded by the
common people as true, by the wise as false, and
by the rulers as useful.” |
| A ) | Lenny Bruce, San Francisco, 1964. |
| B ) | Sam Harris, New York City, 2005. |
| C ) | Bill Maher, Chicago, 2012. |
| D ) | Seneca the Younger, Rome, 32 AD. |
| Hint: de gustibus non est disputandum. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Research: People Who Have Short Ring
Fingers Predisposed Towards Fidelity
If your spouse's ring finger is long, find a
good lawyer, your marriage is toast. |
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