| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Scientists Create Robot
That Can Have Babies
Ask your psychiatrist if using a robot to have
a baby is right for you. |
|
|
New Research Finds Cars' Voice-
Activated Systems Distract Drivers
From their texting. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
House Republicans Meet to Choose
Speaker Over Dinner of Chick-fil-A
Had to settle for meal symbolic of
homophobia, because nothing more
offensive was available. |
| |
| POLL |
|
Carson Leads Trump in Iowa
Voters feel he'll be tougher on
Muslims and women, crueler
to poor people. |
| |
| TRAVEL |
|
In Coming Years, Airlines to
Squeeze More Passengers Into
Same-Sized Planes
Frequent flyers advised to start losing weight now. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| The typical Republican voter wants a President who will: |
| A ) | end Obamacare. |
| B ) | abolish the EPA. |
| C ) | make it harder for minorities to vote. |
| D ) | cut taxes for the wealthiest. |
| E ) | deport 11 million people. |
| F ) | go to war in the Middle East. |
| G ) | hasten the Apocalypse. |
| H ) | do all of these and then some. |
| Hint: Don't forget to tear down the wall between church and state. |
|
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|
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Couple Spends $320K to
Become Human Barbie,
Ken Dolls
With no brains or genitalia. |
|
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