| PEOPLE |
 |
 Kim Kardashian Calls $2.99 Monthly
Fee to Access Her Website “A Great Deal”
Competing $5.99/mo. offer to block
access to her site called “an even
greater deal.” |
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| PUBLISHING |
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Rupert Murdoch Buys Controlling
Interest in National Geographic
Plans to re-evaluate evolution, introduce
topless-native-of-the-month. |
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| BUSINESS |
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EPA: 500,000 VWs Recalled
For “Defeat Device” to Evade
Emissions Law
Whenever an EPA inspector approaches,
car takes off at high speed. |
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Most Expensive Beverly Hills
Mansion Asking Price Cut
From $195 Million to $149 Million
Quick, now's your chance! |
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 Sharp
Unveils First 8K TV
Many will wait until next week when
they unveil 16K model. |
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| SCIENCE |
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UC Berkeley Scientists Making
Invisibility Cloak
High tech wonder hailed as greatest
invention since x-ray glasses. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Children in Military Families More
Likely to Use Alcohol, Drugs, Carry
Weapons, Be Victims of Violence
Leaving them with no options but to join
military. |
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| NEW PRODUCTS |
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 New “Hello Barbie” Can
Say Thousands of Things
Like: “You shouldn't touch that,” “What
are you doing with your hands?” and
“That's disgusting, you perv!” |
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|
 The First
Cloud-Connected Roomba!
It cleans every square inch of your house,
then sends a description of all the dust
and hair and smuts up to some server in
the cloud, which is really Nevada or Utah,
while you observe it all from your lanai
in Pago Pago. $899, at Lazy Shack. |
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